Figuring out how to meet people in Second Life can be surprisingly difficult.
You arrive somewhere new, there are twelve green dots on the map. A handful of avatars are standing nearby. Maybe someone is dancing. Someone else appears to be shopping. You say hello.
Silence.
For a world built around people, Second Life can sometimes feel strangely quiet.
It isn’t necessarily because people don’t want to talk. Some are chatting privately in IMs. Others are talking in group chat or voice. Someone may have stepped away from the computer five minutes ago and left their avatar standing beside you. Plenty of residents have simply become accustomed to exploring quietly.
So how do you meet people in Second Life?
The answer may have less to do with finding the busiest places and more to do with finding the right communities — and then becoming part of them.
Pillow Talk at Commune Utopia, 2017
Go Where Something Is Happening
One of the easiest ways to meet people in Second Life is to go somewhere people have a reason to interact.
Live music is an obvious example.
At a concert, everyone has already chosen to be in the same place for the same reason. People comment on the music. Performers talk with the audience. Regulars greet one another. Someone notices a new arrival.
Art openings work much the same way. So do poetry readings, discussions, community gatherings, sailing events, dances, tours and classes.
It is easier to begin a conversation when there is already something to talk about.
Second Life has no shortage of beautiful destinations, but beauty alone doesn’t create community.
A spectacular region with forty visitors can sometimes feel less social than a little venue with eight people who meet there every Tuesday.
so how to meet people in second life?
The difference is shared experience.
Find Your Community, Not Just a Crowd
There isn’t really one Second Life community.
There are thousands of them, often overlapping and intersecting. Some form around a place.
Others around a shared interest, an activity, or simply a group of people who enjoy spending time together.
I’ve written before about how those communities and shared experiences help make Second Life feel like a living world.
But finding that sense of community for yourself often starts with something much simpler: finding people who share an interest.
Communities Built Around a Place
The Corsica South Coasters stretch along the southern coast of the Corsica continent, connecting residents, businesses, galleries, public spaces and destinations.
Events and shared projects give people reasons to explore the coast and meet one another.
More recently, CK Ballyhoo and I started Tea & Talk, a once-a-month gathering that moves around to different places within the Corsica South Coasters community.
There isn’t a complicated agenda. We pick a place, sit down and talk.
In some ways, that’s community building at its simplest.
Give people a place and a reason to come.
Then say hello.
Communities Built Around Shared Interests
Other communities grow around something people already love doing.
The Nature Collective connects residents interested in nature, conservation and exploring natural spaces throughout Second Life.
The art community connects artists, photographers, gallery owners and visitors through exhibitions, installations and openings.
Live music does much the same thing through performers, venues and the audiences who follow them.
Follow one musician you enjoy and you may discover three venues.
Visit enough gallery openings and familiar faces begin appearing.
One connection leads to another.
Communities That Become Neighborhoods
Bellisseria began with Linden Homes, but resident groups, events, parties, tours, cafes, galleries, public spaces and countless resident-created projects have made it much more than a collection of houses.
Simply living near someone doesn’t necessarily create a community.
People deciding to do things together does.
Communities That Defy Categories
And then there are communities that are harder to categorize.
No Dumpire is a good example. What began as a wonderfully strange Junktopian place to hang out developed its own group and community around it.
Second Life is full of places like that — places you might initially visit because they look interesting, only to discover that the people around them are the real reason to return.
That’s why finding people in Second Life isn’t necessarily about locating the busiest destination.
Find something you care about.
Nature. Art. Music. Sailing. Aviation. Railways. Role-play. Exploring. Poetry. Building. A neighborhood. A continent. A wonderfully peculiar place filled with junk.
Then look around.
Your people may already be there.
Don’t Just Visit Once
Finding a community is only the beginning.
Go back.
Community rarely happens because you teleported somewhere once.
If you enjoy a musician, attend another performance.
If you find a gallery you like, watch for its next opening.
If you discover a group that holds a regular gathering, return the following week.
The second time you arrive, you may recognize someone.
The third time, someone may recognize you.
Eventually you aren’t walking into a room full of strangers anymore.
Many Second Life communities grow exactly this way. They aren’t necessarily formal organizations.
They’re people who have encountered one another often enough that recognition slowly becomes familiarity.
Join the Groups
When you find a place, activity or community you enjoy, look for its Second Life group.
Groups are one of the easiest ways to turn a chance discovery into an ongoing connection.
Venues announce performances. Galleries send exhibition notices. Community organizations announce gatherings. Musicians tell followers where they’re playing. Sailing and aviation groups organize trips. Neighborhood groups share events and local happenings.
Groups can also lead you beyond the place where you started.
You might join a community group because you enjoyed one event, then discover another gathering, another destination, or someone doing something you’d never heard about before.
Most importantly, a group gives you something valuable when you’re trying to meet people:
a reason to come back.
You no longer have to randomly search for something interesting every time you log in. The communities you’ve discovered begin telling you what’s happening next.
How to Meet People in Second Life? Start With Hello
This sounds ridiculously simple.
It can also be surprisingly difficult.
Second Life gives us plenty of ways to avoid taking that first little social risk. We can teleport away. We can browse silently. We can wait for somebody else to start talking.
Sometimes all it takes is:
Hello.
Or say something about what’s happening around you.
“Great set.”
“I’ve never been here before.”
“Have you seen the upstairs gallery?”
“How did you find this place?”
If someone’s avatar catches your attention, that can be a conversation starter too. Humans mingle with animals, dragons, robots, tiny creatures, fantasy characters and creations that defy easy description.
A genuine compliment or question can open a conversation.
Not every hello will receive an answer. Not every conversation will become a friendship.
That’s okay.
Somebody still has to speak first.
I’ve written before about why that simple act matters in Say Hello: How Conversation Keeps Second Life Alive.
Follow the People, Not Just the Landmarks
The Second Life Destination Guide and Events calendar are useful places to start, especially if you’re new or returning after time away.
But they are starting points.
Once you’ve found something you enjoy, start following the connections around it.
Look at profiles. Join groups. Follow venue notices. Read Second Life blogs. Check event listings. Ask residents where else they go.
You go to hear a musician and discover a venue.
At the venue you meet someone involved with an art gallery.
At the gallery someone tells you about a nature preserve.
At the nature preserve you hear about a community event.
A month later you have absolutely no idea how you ended up helping someone move a giant virtual elephant across a region.
That’s Second Life.
One connection opens the door to another.
Busy Isn’t the Same as Social
If you’re trying to meet people in Second Life, don’t judge a place entirely by its traffic number or the number of green dots on the map.
Look for participation.
Are people talking? Are there recurring events? Does someone welcome newcomers? Do people return? Are residents creating things together? Is there a reason to come back next week?
Those signs tell you much more about a community than a traffic counter ever could.
A gathering of ten engaged people can be more welcoming than a destination filled with fifty silent avatars.
Sometimes the smallest gathering is where you finally stop being another green dot on somebody’s map and become someone they recognize.
And perhaps that’s the real answer to how to meet people in Second Life.
Find the places where people are doing something you care about.
Show up. Say hello.
Then show up again.
Eventually, one of those green dots is going to be someone you know.
🦉 — Owl Dragonash
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